The virgin birth isn't unpopular: Silva the Vestal Virgin. Buddah's Maya was unspermed. Zoroaster's momma never did it and neither did the mother's of Adonis, Indra, or Mithra. Somewhere somehow a woman is pushing her child through her untouched hymen. Ever imagine what that would feel like.

Your with the animals, in labor. The suffocating child lodged in the birth canal. Trapped in an enclosing inescapable tube. The man made exit that should be there isn't. The wise men are slapping their foreheads exclaiming, "Shit! I forgot about that! Does anyone have a fondue fork!?"

I would love to hear a descriptive account of such an incident.

I'd hate to be one of those women. It's the rawest deal ever. Not only do you have your hymen ripped during the crowning, but you don't even get to enjoy the natural tediousness of the seed getting in there. One sacred night a god magically fills your ovulating uterus with DNA.

Jesus abandoned as a mistake resulting from the cosmic phantom rape. If god was made in man's image, he is horny and doesn't care.

I submit to the ladies in the house, what do you think of these startling suggestions?

It's just scary when biology meets myth.