(These are actually jokes I received in an email.)

PART I

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
-Juan on Juan.

What is a Yankee?
-The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
-The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
-Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
-Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
-Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

PART II

What do you call a smart blonde?
-A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
-Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
-45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
-45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
-Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
-They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
-Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
-After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
-The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
-Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
-A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
-"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
-Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
-Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
-Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
-He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
-Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

PART III

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
-A different bar.

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