Pope Science

wellbutrin's picture

Pope Benedict XVI has stated that the world’s sciences are still far too narrow to give any reason for his mystic bullshit. Now long enough ago PBXVI said:

“Modern scientific reason quite simply has to accept the rational structure of matter and the correspondence between our spirit and the prevailing rational structures of nature as a given, on which its methodology has to be based.”

At the end of all scientific enquiries is the Christian god? The core belief of the Catholics is transubstantiation. In his own words, the leader of the Catholics stated:

“…our Lord Jesus Christ is truly, really, and substantially present in the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist, and there is a change of the whole substance of the bread into the Body, and of the whole substance of the wine into Blood…”

Taking Ratzinger’s advice I put fourth onto the scientific and medical community the following experiment. Either with the use of a catheter, or by simply examining human waste, digested crackers and juice should contain some kind of holy DNA from which we can clone an army of Jesus’ to run Oxford.

I am currently in search of persons with the knowledge and technical equipment to perform this experiment. Together we'll god willingly find Jesus Christ is truly, really, and substantially present in the digestive system. Funding will be provided by the Vatican.

Pope John Paul II

The last pope was way better. This one is gay...and not just in the Catholic priest gay sort of way, but in the general usage of the word gay.

KelSchmidt's picture

I do agree with kevin on

I do agree with kevin on this

wellbutrin's picture

Fuck John Paul

Indeed he wasn't the most horrific religious leader in modern history, he was an apologist for an institution that does more harm than good. He didn't end pedophilia within his religion, which would've put him high on the race for Best Pop Thus Far. Hell, advocating condoms would have given him the most points! Gotta put a filter on that Catholic flavored Herpes epidemic.

I think Pope John Paul II

I think Pope John Paul II would have been the perfect Hindu. Even when shot, he still forgave.