Fwd. mail I got from a Christian
Offline A Christian classmate of mine has been sending me quite a few forwarded emails (probably trying to annoy me or something, since she knows perfectly well I'm atheist). Here's the latest one:
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Many years ago, while watching a little TV on Sunday instead of going to church, I watched a Mass in Atlanta honoring one of it's senior priest who had been retired many years...
He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the Church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age. After a warm welcome, introduction of this speaker, and as the applause quieted down he rose from his high back chair and walked slowly, with great effort and a sliding gate to the podium. Without a note or written paper of any kind, he placed both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then quietly and slowly he began to speak....
"When I was asked to come here today and talk to you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in my 50 odd years of preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that made the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always rely on when tears and heart break and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me...the only thing that would comfort was this verse..........
"Jesus loves me this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong,
we are weak but he is strong.....
Yes, Jesus loves me...
The Bible tells me so."
When he finished, the church was quiet.
You actually could hear his foot steps as he shuffled back to his chair. I don't believe I will ever forget it.
A priest once stated, "I always noticed that its was the adults who chose the children's hymn 'Jesus Loves Me' (for the children of course) during a hymn sing, and it was the adults who sang the loudest because I could see they knew it the best."
Senior version of Jesus Loves Me
Here is a new version just for us who have white hair, or no hair at all.
For us over middle age (or even those almost there) and all you others, check out this newest version of "Jesus Loves Me". It is quite cute, so read,sing and enjoy:"
JESUS LOVES ME
Jesus loves me, this I know,
Though my hair is white as snow.
Though my sight is growing dim,
Still He bids me trust in Him.
(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS LOVES ME...
YES, JESUS LOVES ME FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
Though my steps are oh, so slow,
With my hand in His I'll go
On through life, let come what may,
He'll be there to lead the way.
(CHORUS)
Though I am no longer young,
I have much which He's begun.
Let me serve Christ with a smile,
Go with others the extra mile.
(CHORUS)
When the nights are dark and long,
In my heart He puts a song.
Telling me in words so clear,
"Have no fear, for I am near."
(CHORUS)
When my work on earth is done,
And life's victories have been won.
He will take me home above,
Then I'll understand His love
(CHORUS)
I love Jesus, does He know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say,
That I love Him every day.
If you think this is neat, please pass it on to your friends.
If you do not pass it on, nothing bad will happen, but you will have missed an opportunity to "Reach out and Touch" a friend or a loved one.
God Bless Us All !!!
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If she sends me another of those, I'll be soon forwarding her a copy of Richard Dawkins' site newsletter.
no one should be allowed to send people that crap
I think that is funny. You should send the Richard Dawkins thing. I hate it when people preach. Drives me friggen nuts.
This is a popular bulletin on myspace.
I hate it.
"One day a 6 year old was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He just doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the
boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No.
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!
BURN!
"FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT"
- 2 CORINTHIANS 5:7
*Repost if you believe in GOD!!!!
repost as "BURN!!!"
Yeah, I know what you guys mean - I'm sick and tired of this junk, especially those emails with "blessings" and good luck, along with warnings that if you don't send it on a family member will die. I can't stand prayers like this (though they usually give me a good chuckle):
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God still sits on the throne.
Each and every one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.
My instructions were to pick four
people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least (4) people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.
This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.
The prayer:
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.
(If the Lord lays upon your heart to send this to more than four "4" people, you are truly blessed).
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I saw this bulletin that said "Fuck whoever wrote this!" and when I clicked to read it, the bulletin said:
[i]"97% of teens won't repost this.
When Jesus was crucified, the devil was laughing at him. If you are one of the 3% that loves Jesus, repost this bulletin with the subject "Fuck whoever wrote this!"[/i]
For a christian bulletin, the subject is pretty vulgar.
One of the 3% of teens that love Jesus? I thought it was the other way around. At first I thought that 97% of teens love Jesus.
Everyone knows atheists are in the minority 9 to 1. :)
i always immediately block anyone who sends me a forwards; regardless of the subject.
Good policy. I hacked into my email filter a month ago, because there is still not an option to filter out all forwards.
Oh, and Myspace is ugly. Shmeh. And this crap is all too common.
A few friends of mine say the same thing about myspace.
Probably because they didn't have a lot of friends.
Who knows?
LOLz. True enough, Myspace has become a competing ground for people who think it is advantageous to have as many people listed as their friend. My bro has 250 or so, and he admits he doesn't know 90% of them. I have to say, more than anonymous chatrooms, stupidity is the leading cause of online sexual predators.
Ah, I agree.
I was watching this tv show about how some girl thought it would be safe to chat in a christian chatroom. Then met some guy she thought was 16 years old (the guy used a picture of himself when he was young). Eventually, she was fixing to meet him but the police caught him and told her he was actually in his 50's.
Online predators are everywhere, even in christian chatrooms. :)
probably [i]especially[/i] christian chatrooms.
predators know that the people in there are probably going to be more gullible and trusting than those in other rooms.
True. And I can't remember a time where influential Christians weren't constantly admitting to doing Meth and stuff. They are a dangerous group. And the whole priest pedophilia thing.
When I come across such things I like to debunk them. If it is a story you can simply point out it is a story. The ones that include names and places seem to be vague, but if they have a name, say Eienstein, a place like snopes is a good place to look. If they want to use numbers GOOD, those can be verified or proven false easy.
I haven't seen anything that wasn't so annoyingly vague as to be nondisprovable. Post any that are provably false, but most of these use ridiculous made up names or 'boy' 'parent' et cetera.
Sheesh, I just got another one of those. I usually like forwarded stuff with meaningful stories, but definitely not these. (The whole thing was full of pictures of Yahweh and Jeebus)
--------------------------------------------------------------
Title: If you love God or have questions about him read this...
This is so beautiful!
John 3:16
A little boy was selling newspapers on the co rner,
the people were in and out of the cold.
The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell
many papers.
He walked up to a policeman and said,
"Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could
find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?
You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and
down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight.
Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."
The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You
go down the street to that big white house and you knock
on the door. When they come out the door you just say
John 3:16, and they will let you in."
So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the
door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said,
"John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son."
She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom
rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went
off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself:
John 3:16...I don't understand it, but it sure makes
a cold boy warm.
Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?"
He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of
days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food,"
The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table
full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat
any more. Then he thought to himself:
John 3:16...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure
makes a hungry boy full.
She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub
filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a
while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16...
I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy
clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my
whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in
front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.
The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room,
tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers
up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out
the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the
window at the snow coming down on that cold night,
he thought to himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it but
it sure makes a tired boy rested.
The next morning the lady came back up and took him
down again to that same big table full of food. After he
ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom
rocker in front of the fireplace and
picked up a big old Bible.
She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.
"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He
replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it
was last night when the policeman told me to use it,"
She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain
to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace,
he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there
and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure
makes a lost boy feel safe.
You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either,
ho w God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how
Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand
the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as
they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense
love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end.
I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should
not perish, but have everlasting life.
If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions .
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed
of you before my Father." Pass this on only if you mean it.
I do Love God. He is my source of existence.. He keeps
me functioning each and every day. Phil 4:13 If you love
God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he
has done for you, sen d this on.
Take 60 seconds & give this a shot !
Let's just see if Satan stops this one.
All you do is:
1) Simply say a small prayer for the person who sent you this,
"Father, God bless this person in whatever it is that You know
he or she may be needing this day !"
2) Then send it on to ten other people.
Within hours ten people have prayed for you,
and you caused a multitude of people to pray to God for
other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God
work in your life for doing the thing that you know He loves.
Working for God on earth does not pay much,
but His Retirement plan is out of this world.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Any good rationalist/atheist stuff I could forward over to her?
[quote]Title: If you love God or have questions about him read this...
This is so beautiful!
John 3:16
A little boy was selling newspapers on the co rner,
the people were in and out of the cold.
The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell
many papers.
He walked up to a policeman and said,
"Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could
find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?
You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and
down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight.
Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."
The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You
go down the street to that big white house and you knock
on the door. When they come out the door you just say
John 3:16, and they will let you in."
So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the
door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said,
"John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son."
She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom
rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went
off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself:
John 3:16...I don't understand it, but it sure makes
a cold boy warm.
Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?"
He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of
days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food,"
The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table
full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat
any more. Then he thought to himself:
John 3:16...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure
makes a hungry boy full.
She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub
filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a
while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16...
I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy
clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my
whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in
front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.
The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room,
tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers
up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out
the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the
window at the snow coming down on that cold night,
he thought to himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it but
it sure makes a tired boy rested.
The next morning the lady came back up and took him
down again to that same big table full of food. After he
ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom
rocker in front of the fireplace and
picked up a big old Bible.
She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.
"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He
replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it
was last night when the policeman told me to use it,"
She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain
to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace,
he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there
and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure
makes a lost boy feel safe.
You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either,
ho w God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how
Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand
the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as
they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense
love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end.
I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should
not perish, but have everlasting life.
If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions .
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed
of you before my Father." Pass this on only if you mean it.
I do Love God. He is my source of existence.. He keeps
me functioning each and every day. Phil 4:13 If you love
God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he
has done for you, sen d this on.
Take 60 seconds & give this a shot !
Let's just see if Satan stops this one.
All you do is:
1) Simply say a small prayer for the person who sent you this,
"Father, God bless this person in whatever it is that You know
he or she may be needing this day !"
2) Then send it on to ten other people.
Within hours ten people have prayed for you,
and you caused a multitude of people to pray to God for
other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God
work in your life for doing the thing that you know He loves.
Working for God on earth does not pay much,
but His Retirement plan is out of this world.[/quote]
so, basically, the argument is this:
[b]1. see this nice person?
2. therefore, God exists.[/b]
Yep, Fundies sure have some brilliant logic.
ah yes! you put it that way, it suddenly all makes sense.
I get similar things once in a while.
ah I hate forwarded emails like that...
1. Who believes those things will actually happen?
2. Why the heck to we have to drag God into Everything!
On the note of MySpace as a friend's contest. Perhaps I take far too much sick pleasure out of cutting people, like it's some reality TV show and they have to move on to the next round :)
Just got this in my inbox:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOW!!! WHAT A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!
[IMG]http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n109/hernoor/untitled-2.jpg[/IMG]
If I don't get this back, I will know you really didn't read it. I got this from someone and thought the last part was really a good thought.
Too bad that the person who sent it to me did not know 10 people who would admit to knowing the Lord.
If I send this to you, please send it back so I will know that my friends do know the Lord.
I know 10 people.
Do You Love Him?
This is a simple test:
IF YOU LOVE JESUS, SEND
THIS TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING
THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU!
THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.....
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God! held a book;
It was the book of life..
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
Now do you have the time
to pass it on?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuckers.